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Topic: Smile Hoaxes and a Bellagio Confession?

Date: 10/10/01
Subject: Re: a confession

Conrats on finally calling me out as a fake. It's been a long time since I've posted and want to assure you that I have no affiliation with the current trolls roaming your board. I want to commend you guys on an outstanding message board, you and most of the posters on this board amaze me with your vast knowledge of the subject.

What started out as a joke snowballed into something I couldn't believe. Many people were very skeptical of my posts (ie. John Lane, Braamburge Insider, etc.) and rightly so, I made up a number of wacky theories. Playing myself off as a burned-out drug buddy of Brian's with vague recallings of Brian's lost masterpiece, I tied together a lot of loose ends and made a sort of linear story (aka Barnyard Billy and the whole Cantina fight) that some people seemed to want to hear and believe. If you remember at the time things were very stagnant on the board and I guess I was just trying to shake things up. The postive outcome I suppose is that it may have allowed some people to think outside the box.

Alas, I think I'm giving myself too much credit and have to admit that I was really amazed that so many people bought into it. When Alan Boyd's liner notes to Hawthorne, CA seemed to give credence to these speculations I was blown away. I am truly sorry for misleading those with a genuine interest in getting to the bottom of the mystery.

Finally, I want to apologize to Jon & John (and all the regulars)who I'm sure are justifiably pissed off about being misled. I abused this board way back when and I guess I realized that it is not fair to the people who are genuine about trying to get accurate information. Hopefully you guys won't harbor too much resentment and just see me as one of the few bullshitters who slipped through the cracks.



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Replying to:

Yeah - that's right. There was a balance though that made it all realistic; Brian had a plan (something we'd like to believe) but he was changing it constantly, sometimes minute to minute (something that's becoming almost irrefutable), according to BI. I particularly liked the idea of Wilson trying to write his own lyrics but failing - certainly that feeds into our ideas about BW, and it helped explain in general why some songs are so mysterious, like I'm in Great Shape. I for one ate it up. Bellagio really had the perfect scenario - they were an outsider looking in, they heard finished stuff we are all pretty sure existed at one time and they didn't have any of it to play us, only their memories to go by. I really think it was the whole package - whether it was well thought out or just an accident, that's how you fool people. And Bellagio knew his stuff - he knew his theories and he knew what would stand up against old theories that don't cut it anymore. He didn't just know the song titles on the back of the record or, worse, the titles on a bootleg.

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Replying to:

11) If you're bringing those Smile tales from the 60's, make sure that your lie hints that Brian was in total control of the project till the end.

Seriously, that's how Bellagio Insider got so many people in this Board.

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Replying to:

In the interest of keeping people from coming to the board with totally unbelievable claims I have decided to create a list of details I hope people will find help them lie more plausibly. It should be a relatively easy set of instructions to follow, and I think everyone thinking about making an outrageous claim concerning the Beach Boys and Smile could benefit from reading it.

1) If you're going to post anonymously, have a good name. Bellagio Insider was the most believable liar ever to hit the board, and there is a good reason. While "Bellagio" should have been a dead give away, it's indicative of what you can get away with - choose something RELATED to the period and you've taken your first step. Of course, using a real name is even better, and if you don't want to use your own name I'm sure you have a neighbor whose cat craps in your yard.

2) Actually KNOW something about Smile and Brian Wilson before throwing your lie around. This seems so obvious, but I guess all Star Trek detractors think all you need to know about Vulcans is they have pointy ears. NOT TRUE.

3) As an extension of # 2, don't throw Brian Wilson associates' names around. Not only is it disrespectful to these people as individuals, it's an easy lie to catch as many of us have had some kind of contact with these people and they are very decent and forthcoming about information. Saying they gave YOU something and neglected to tell every-bloody-body else is a sure sign you're a phony.

4) Don't place your lie in the recent past. I can't stress this enough - anything past the 70s is a little dangerous, really. The mystery exists in the 60s, so that's where you'll be able to lie the easiest. Die-hards will believe Brian Wilson gave you something or let you hear something in 1967 far more than they're going to believe you've got session notes detailing how to put Smile together or another track list with "I Love to Say Dada" on it. Again, look at Bellagio Insider - they broke the mold, really.

5) If you're going to claim to have documents, make sure you know HOW YOU GOT IT. It's one thing to say "some guy gave it to me", but when pressed as to who you can't just reply "oh, um, why should I tell you?" or "I don't know". You don't know??? How can you not know how you got something? Personally, the first person to ever give me a Beach Boys tape was "some guy at a record store", to which people often ask me who the guy was, to which I can respond that his name was Ted and he was the owner of a store in Virginia called Record Convergence that closed down just about three years ago. See? While my story is true, that shouldn't be so hard to fake. "Someguy" gets A NAME and "a record store" gets A NAME. People will be less suspicious if you actually just come up with something, and won't check it out if it's believable. Record Convergence was an awesome store by the way.

6) Documents are a big problem, as there really weren't that many "documents", official or otherwise, that survive from back then. Try to make it more like "I heard something once that I don't have". That way we can't ask you to make an mp3 of it or why the crap you haven't turned it over to Capitol records for archiving. It's better if Brian played it for you because it's well known just about anyone could hear what he was working on back then but the doors were closed a short time later. Also, you seem like less a jerk if you don't claim to have it because your motives for going public seem less egotistically motivated. Obviously people can't hear what you don't have, and then you're caught.

7) If you MUST claim you have a document GIVE IT MYSTERY. C'mon, you guys are so uncreative saying you've got a tracklist, or detailed notes. Make it obtuse. I think Mr. John Lane (?) once came up with a grocery list of Brian's in the 60s that mainly consisted of Reddi-Whip. DO SOME RESEARCH and you'll realize that, while the grocery list was intended as a joke, this is a much more realistic document Brian Wilson might have produced in 1967 than dated, concrete information with easy to understand notations. Hell, the tape box for Wind Chimes is hard enough for an outsider to figure out! I still don't get it, really.

8) Don't think that "common knowledge" is the only thing out there! Domenic Priore's book is several years old without a major update (I believe he's working on one now). If you're going to try and pull some wool, know that many Beach Boys associates you'll want to name - Linett, Kaye, Elliott, Boyd, Holmes - have all divulged information in various places, both publically AND privately, that are not in that book. At least check the boards a bit before making your strike to see where the gaps are that can be realistically filled.

9) Stick to the Capitol tracklist. It's just easier. Bellagio him/herself screwed up somewhat when they started going off on "He Gives Speeches", but got around it by making their statment completely obtuse and relating it to another piece of music. This confusion gave the statement a false clarity, because many were busy wondering what they were talking about rather than calling the bluff that it was almost totally ridiculous. So, again, know the material!

10) We haven't had this problem really yet, but anyone that wants to make some claims about the music itself should know music fairly well because there are plenty of people out there who can catch your lie. Pay attention to whether keys and speeds match or people will know right off you're a phony. If you don't know this stuff, don't pursue the ruse.

Well, I hope this helps. Everyone else, feel free to jump in and add to this.

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